Have you ever wanted to smell like a hipster? Probably not, since most hipster species have been scientifically proven to carry a foul, offensive odor in their skin. But camouflaging with their kind for the sake of observation and research requires attention to details, and Portland General Store is ready to help. For the low, low price of $68, you too can smell like you’ve apathetically bathed in whiskey, but without the whole “being an actual alcoholic” dilemma. Other exciting available scents include moss, tobacco, seawater, and wood, so no matter what realm of Hiptopia you find yourself in, you’ll be prepared! Now if only they had a cologne to make me smell like musty old cloth upon the dust-covered shelves of Goodwill…